25 World Class Insults From the Sick Minds of Reddit

Looking for a new insult to roast your friends or critics? r/AskReddit has got you covered. Here are some of the top-rated digs from fellow...

By Toonacious

Published 3 years ago in Funny

Looking for a new insult to roast your friends or critics? r/AskReddit has got you covered. Here are some of the top-rated digs from fellow Reddit users.

1
“May you have a day as pleasant as you are.”Great to use on customers because they can’t complain this was an insult without admitting they were fucking rude. - sketchysketchist

2
Best I’ve got away with to a client was “have a day sir”. I said it fast so that if anyone heard, I could claim they missed the “good”- lildeidei

3
"I know a mind reader who would charge you half price." - carrotwax
4
For a critic, “You have me at a disadvantage. You seem to know a lot about me, and I don’t give a fuck about you.” - Brundleflyftw

5
For a critic, “You have me at a disadvantage. You seem to know a lot about me, and I don’t give a f**k about you.” - Brundleflyftw
6
Maybe you Aussies and Kiwis remember this but a while ago the New Zealand prime minister Robert Muldoon was asked about immigration from New Zealand to Australia. He responded that he was fine with it because it was raising the average IQ of both countries. - SmoochieMcGucci
7
“He has a face like a stuntman’s knee” - summer_coys

8
"face like a slapped arse." - RustyRovers
9
Had one Yemani describe a colleague in broken English "he's a waste of skin" - HarrargnNarg
10
I hope you go far. The sooner, the better - Czarcasm3

11
“The only thing you’re fucking, is stupid.” - Lemon - seeoharewhy13
12
“The only thing you’re f**king, is stupid.” - Lemon - seeoharewhy13
13
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you." Maybe not the best, but it's a really good one. - Forgot_My_Rape_Shoes

14
I would call you a tool, but that implies that you're useful for something. - ricksenburg
15
You've only got 2 brain cells and they are both fighting for 3rd place - vanity_is_a_mess
16
You're not the dumbest person in the world but you'd better hope they don't die - vanity_is_a_mess

17
While I was in the navy I overheard, " I'd tell you to go kill yourself but you would probably fuck that up too." - bigboog1
18
While I was in the navy I overheard, " I'd tell you to go kill yourself but you would probably f**k that up too." - bigboog1
19
Another time a guy wrote, on an evaluation, "losing this guy would be like gaining two people." - bigboog1

20
You probably get your insults from askreddit - Musaks
21
I don't know if they came up with it, but I believe Animaniacs had "The closest you'll have to a brainstorm is a slight drizzle," which I still think is quite good. - Mielkevejen
22
"You're so stupid that it may actually be illegal to fuck you." - Alice_Van_Osbourne

23
"You're so stupid that it may actually be illegal to f**k you." - Alice_Van_Osbourne
24
My cholesterol is higher than your standards. - bobbery5
25
A colleague of mine was told the following by a waitress when he had tried to hit on her. "You have more dick in your personality than you do in your pants" - Hollywood899

26
Should you have someone with you ? - noggerthefriendo
27
"I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said." William F. Buckley - LordPimpernel
28
My stepfather (best dude ever!) was talking about one of my mothers obnoxious, know it all friends...and he said "That woman could give an aspirin a headache!" - Tiny_Entertainer3460