Are You Smart Enough To Get These Jokes?

5 Star this if you get these jokes. 1 Star it if you don't. Lets see the average!

By monsters244

Published 10 years ago

Or you can take the difficulty level down to "dad jokes" on Your Daily Media.

1
Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, Do all of you want a drink? The first logician says, I don't know. The second logician says, I don't know. The third logician says, Yes!

5
Your momma is so mean she has no standard deviation.
6
A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies, No, I'm traveling light.
7
An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. In English, he said, a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative. A voice from the back of the room piped up, Yeah, right.

8
There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
9
The other day my friend was telling me that I didn't understand what irony meant. Which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.
10
What's the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist? An etymologist knows the difference.

11
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized.
12
Its hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
13
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

14
Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings Pavlov gasps, Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dogs.
15
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, You fellas ought to know your limits.
16
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Hes 0K now.

17
Yo mommas so classless she could be a Marxist utopia.
18
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman.
19
Ren Descartes walks into a bar. Bartender asks if he wants anything. Ren says, I think not, then disappears.

20
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus. "You mean a martini?" The bartender asks. The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"
21
Who is this Rorschach guy? And why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?